Billie Lourd is honoring her late mother Carrie Fisher on the fifth anniversary of her death.
On Monday, the 29-year-old actress took to Instagram to share an amazing acoustic rendition of Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide in honor of the Star Wars icon, reflecting in the caption:
“It has been 5 years since my Momby died (I don’t like to say lost – it makes it sound like I could find her like I find my car in a parking lot when I don’t remember where I parked it – I always find my car – I can’t find my Mom). On days like this I like to be with people I love.”
Those people she loves? For this one it was Booksmart co-star Kaitlyn Dever and her sister Mady Dever, who joined her to play guitar and sing backup for the bathroom jam session.
Related: The Best Carrie Fisher Story You’ve Never Heard!
Billie explained that singing was something she always loved to do with her mother:
“We loved to sing. We loved Fleetwood Mac. We loved this song. It echoed in our living room throughout my childhood, playing slightly too loudly as she scribbled her marvelous manic musings on yellow legal pads (google them if you don’t know them – they’re the iPads of the past and are still pretty damn hip if you ask me).”
Even though she grew up hearing this song for so many years, Lourd was taken by surprise at a specific lyric this year after listening to the song while away from home. She explained:
“I’m working away from home right now and one night when I was having a particularly grief-y moment this song came on and the lyrics spoke (well actually sang) to me more than they ever had before. ‘Well I’ve been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder.’ I didn’t know who to be or what to do after my mom died.”
Carrie passed away at 60 years old on December 27, 2016, after suffering a heart attack. The following day her mother Debbie Reynolds died of a stroke. We can’t imagine the shock of such a back-to-back loss. Heartbreaking.
The Scream Queens alum has had to overcome that sense of shock since moving forward with her life without the most important people to her, and while it hasn’t been an easy journey, she sounds hopeful that things are beginning to change for the better.
Related: Gabby Petito’s Parents Share Touching Tributes On Christmas Without Daughter
The Cali native concluded:
“I was afraid of changing because I had built my life around her. Then she was gone. And I had to rebuild my life without her. And it wasn’t (and still isn’t) easy. But time has made me bolder. I never stop missing her but I have gotten stronger with each passing year. And if you’re going through something similar time will make you bolder too. Sorry for this cheesy lyric analysis. But it’s true!!! Sending all my strength to anyone in the #griefgang who needs it.”
Sadly there are so many people right now in the #griefgang who need this! What a beautiful interpretation of the lyrics! Take a listen to Lourd’s passionate cover of Landslide (below):
The Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker star also opened up about what state of grief she is in these days, sharing alongside a throwback picture:
“People always ask me what stage of grief I’m in. And my answer is never simple. I’m in a different stage of grief in each moment of every day. My grief is a multi course meal with many complicated ingredients. An amuse bouche of bargaining followed by an anger appetizer with a side of depression, acceptance for the entree and of course a little denial for dessert. And that’s how grief should be – all things all at once – actually there is no ‘should’ in grief – grief just is whatever it is for you and that is how it ‘should be’.”
Losing a family member — especially your mother — as a young woman is so much. We’re glad to see Billie can stay inspired by Carrie’s memory and honor her every day.
Also, the pipes! Get these girls a contract!